Three Points, Two Spaf goals and One Centenary Hangover.

Sevenoaks M4 1–3 Folkestone Optimist M3

A shorter report this week, owing to the author suffering the consequences of the club's magnificent centenary dinner. A fantastic evening celebrating 100 years of Optimism. Huge thanks from the 3s to everyone who made it happen.

Anyway. Hockey.

Sevenoaks away. A happy hunting ground for the Optimists in recent seasons, and Saturday proved no different. A relatively routine 3–1 victory, three more points, and remarkably little drama. On the pitch, at least.

The squad remained almost unchanged, with club stalwart Nick Hopkin replacing Fin Letley, who has temporarily departed on a free transfer to pursue his international ambitions. Out went youth and pace; in came experience, nous and an England Over-50s World Cup winner's medal. Not a bad replacement.

Preparations had been somewhat pedestrian, aside from the Men's 3s and Men's 7s Instagram accounts spending Friday evening & Saturday morning engaged in a strange AI-generated team-sheet arms race. They're probably not the club favourites anyway. ;-)

The game.

The opening exchanges were calm and controlled. Sevenoaks offered little threat and appeared strangely content to leave forwards Lorcan, Jimmins, PK and Hopkin completely unmarked high up the pitch. A bold tactical innovation, which was never going to work well in the long-run.

First blood went to Sam Ireland, whose beautifully executed penalty corner slid just inside the left post, inches above the backboard.

1–0. Lovely stuff.

The remainder of the half passed without much incident. Sutton and Ireland controlled proceedings at the back, Scotty hoovered up everything in midfield, and the Optimists went into the break comfortably ahead.

Sevenoaks emerged with renewed enthusiasm and promptly equalised from a penalty corner.

1–1. Mildly irritating.

Still, there was little sense of panic. Will Paine made a couple of important saves, while Ireland and Sutton dealt comfortably with the increasingly troublesome home forwards.

The right flank was rapidly developing into a trench as Stone repeatedly banana-ran his opponents into submission. Bananarama baby. The pressure told, and a flurry of penalty corners ensued. One of which, PK managed to round the goalkeeper and miss an open goal. Shortly afterwards, even Tom Stone was seen venturing into the Sevenoaks D. The Optimist tails were up and wagging, they were on top.

The next PC was 'The German'.

Hopkin injected. King trapped. Spaf to Sicott. Sicott to Spaf.

BANG. 2–1.

The German was back after a summer hiatus, executed to perfection. Somewhere in Berlin, a hockey coach shed a tear of joy.

Sevenoaks pushed forward in search of another equaliser, but the midfield quartet of TJ, Joel, Rumsey and Minister held firm. The Optimists remained composed.

With just minutes remaining, PK spotted Hopkin lurking approximately 70 yards upfield, in a position so advanced that he was practically already enjoying post-match fajitas in the Sevenoaks Vine. A long pass found the veteran striker, who still had plenty to do. He rounded the sprawling goalkeeper and calmly finished to put the result beyond doubt.

3–1. Game over.

An England Over-50s World Cup winner demonstrating that the ability to goal-hang is timeless.

The remaining minutes passed without incident. Controlled. Calm. Three points.

The Optimists climbed to third in South East Division 2 Invicta, maintaining their excellent start to the centenary season.

Adele on full volume, a quick shower and a round or five of Tequila Rose followed, before the boys returned to Holly Bush Lane to watch the Men's 1st XI dismantle Sevenoaks 5–1. A much-needed, thoroughly deserved victory and a cracking game to watch, even if some of the touchline commentary was best left unrecorded.

Fun bus home. Centenary dinner. Skuba. Jolsons. Bedtime.

Goodnight.

Three more points for the Threes.

Allez. Les. Blancs.