After the heartbreak of last week’s epic but narrow defeat away at league leaders Canterbury, the beach boys returned to the familiar turf of Three Hills to face Gore Court 2s. When the sides met earlier in the season, an under-strength Optimists side had slunk away with a 4–1 defeat. Revenge, therefore, was quietly on the menu.

And revenge was served.

The Optimists ran out convincing 4–1 winners, with a brace from Lorcan Doyle and another brace from young Arthur Ireland.

Despite the loss the previous week, the mood in camp remained buoyant. Mathematically, winning the final three games should be enough to secure 2nd place in the league and complete the ambitious triple promotion objective — having already won the league and gone up in each of the previous two seasons.

The WhatsApp group, as ever, played its part in preparations. Ben Shaw kicked things off requesting urgent plumbing advice. This was swiftly followed by an impromptu X-ray competition, with Mike Hopkin proudly displaying a broken thumb and Chris “Boots” Stephens countering with a rather concerning image revealing a distinct lack of joint in his big toe, and a foott that could fairly be described as… hobbit-like.

The week also brought some genuinely excellent news. Young Fin Letley had been selected to represent England Under-15s. Outstanding stuff — congratulations Fin.

Meanwhile Sam Ireland shared a beautifully crafted ChatGPT poem predicting a victory over Gore Court, which, as it turns out, was somewhat prophetic.

The Hockey

If I’m completely honest, the finer details of the hockey are slightly hazy, I am penning this whilst still hungover on Sunday evening having been at South East Masters trials for much of the afternoon.

What I do remember is that Folkestone started well. Very well. Slick passing, good movement, pressure high up the pitch.

And naturally, we found ourselves 1–0 down.

It appears conceding early has simply become part of the Folkestone mens 3rd XI brand. So much so that it may be featuring on new 3rd team merchandise planned for the summer.

Also within the opening ten minutes, Jack Timmins was making friends with the Gore Court captain, who was extremely fortunate to remain on the pitch after repeatedly squaring up to the newly 18-year-old Jack and at one point helpfully striking him on the back of the head, luckily for him - the umpires view was blocked and he escaped with a telling off from his own team.

All very friendly. All very Gore Court.

The Line-Up

The 3s converged on the Three Hills with a huge squad of 16, welcoming back Will Bygrave and Nick Ward, with only Mike Hopkin missing from the previous week.

At the back the defence looked far more settled than at Canterbury. Jack Hagger and Tom Stone played with freedom and delivered several excellent passes down the channels directly into the forwards.

Sam Ireland and Ali Sutton were strong in the tackle and, barring one small slip-up, gave Gore Court very little to work with. Tom Nicholls provided excellent defensive support while Scott “The 8km a half hoover” Minister continued his tireless role sweeping everything up in midfield.

Up front, the young guns stole the show. Fin Letley, Arthur Ireland and Lorcan Doyle were outstanding throughout.

Skipper Phil King also played, although he had a bit of a shocker so will not be mentioned again in this report.

Supporting the forwards were inside men Will Bygrave, Tom Jones, Will Ball and Nick Ward, all contributing to the constant pressure.

In goal, Chris “Boots” Stephens made a couple of excellent saves when required, while Mike Hopkin — thumb and all — ran the bench.

The Goals

On around 15 minutes, Lorcan Doyle recorded his first touch of the game and promptly produced a delightfully dirty finish to make it 1–1.

Not long after, Doyle again picked up the ball on the baseline and in a moment of selflessness, delivered a perfect pass to the back post where Arthur Ireland flung himself forward to convert with a full diving finish on his nose.

2–1 Optimists.

Before long the game was looking rather comfortable. Arthur Ireland added his second of the afternoon with another similar diving effort.

It was 3–1. Half time.

The second half featured slightly more hockey and slightly less agro. Some lovely chats were had between the sides.

The Optimists dominated proceedings but only managed to add one more goal — Lorcan Doyle again finding the net to make it 4–1.

In truth, it could have been far far more.

The beach boys peppered the Gore Court goal throughout the second half. Jack Timmins very nearly made it five with a deflection attempt that he was absolutely "certain" he had touched, despite umpire Leigh Marshall appearing less convinced. Leigh was of course correct, Jack was just celebrating that he had made up with his new friend, presumably.

The Gore Court goalkeeper produced no fewer than 12 saves in the second half alone.

Sometimes the ball just doesn’t go in in the goal hole, no matter how much you batter it in the right direction.

Still, the job was done. Three points secured. Pressure maintained.

With two games remaining, the race for the promotion places remains deliciously tight. Only three points and three goals separate the Optimists, Canterbury and Holcombe 4s.

And here’s the interesting bit: Canterbury and Holcombe still have to play each other on the final day.

They can’t both win it.

So the beach boys sit quietly in the long grass, full camouflage, patiently stalking their prey, ready to pounce if either of them blinks. My money’s on Holcombe, they have history.

Next week the Optimists travel to Holcombe 5s (not the good ones), while Canterbury and Holcombe face tough games against Burnt Ash and Old Williamsonians respectively, neither game is a 'gimme. Then the season-ending showdown for a top two place. Someone is going to be disappointed...

It’s shaping up beautifully.

Oof.